LSD And Other Great Advice From SJ
At first I was unsure if I should publish this. It paints a very different picture from the one most of the media and the general public has of Steve Jobs. Most see him through the lens of his products, as a visionary, which he was. I was worried that I had a very skewed image of him from a very short period of time working at Apple, insignificant compared to many of the people I met there. Reading more accounts from other people, reassured me that my memory wasn't failing massively. Working for Steve was not always a pleasent task, and just like John expresses in his post, I too have had mixed feelings about the man. Hopefully sharing this anecdote serves to complete the picture of such an iconic and complex person, viewed from the inside.
Being an intern at Apple was in many respects better than being a full-time employee. One of the "lucky" perks you could enjoy as an intern was to be able to attend the Executive Lecture Series. These were gatherings of the whole intern class at the Apple Town Hall. They were presentations by the E-Team, mainly showcasing the amazing internals of the machinery behind Apple. Who was the E-Team you may ask? It was not clear to most of us, but the criteria seemed to be that you were in the E-Team if you were in the same room as Steve on Tuesdays at 11. Some of the people we got to listen, and ask questions to were Johnny Ives, Scott Forstall, Tim Cook and more of the C-level execs. We were not allowed to photograph or record anything going on in the town hall. We were asked to turn off our phones. Fair enough.
Usually we knew who the speaker was, but one week, a last minute email was sent out during the morning, for all of us to be "on call". The speaker was not confirmed, and it may or may not happen. We would be given 15 minutes of warning, and would have to rush to the Town Hall. After doors closed, nobody would be allowed in. Or out. The rumor was that it had come time to hear him. I had seen Steve around campus a bunch of times, and he was not looking too great, so I was a bit skeptical. The email was sent out, and suddenly there was a flood of interns heading towards IL4. This time around we were required to leave our phones, and any type of device that could record anything (including pen and paper), outside the room. I was starting to question whether I wanted to enter that room, as I felt we may be subjected to a memory erasing procedure after the presentation was over. The Apple Town Hall was more packed than usual, but I managed to get a seat up front - somewhat dangerous, since the speaker could actually see you. We sat and waited. After about 15 minutes it was looking like nothing was going to happen. Our bottoms were getting impatient, but we were not allowed to leave, move, and barely speak.
After what seemed like an eternity, the lights got dimmed and silence filled the room. Steve appeared on stage. He was awfully skinny, with a somewhat bloated stomach. He reminded me of a friend I had in high school, who had a liver transplant, and unfortunately did not survive it. He did not look like a healthy man, but his presence was still overwhelming. He sat down at the tripod-like stool with a saddle seat with his feet on the cross bars, somewhat perched down, staring at us from behind his glasses.He talked for a few minutes without slides, and then just point-blank asked us: "What do you want to know?". We had the unique opportunity in our lives of asking SJ anything we wanted. Anything at all. A candid conversation. And he would answer off the record. Now that he is gone, I realize what a huge privilege this was. I am happy I was able to experience it, but I only wish I was a bit older and had already started Bakodo to have more intelligent questions about how to make great products and run a business so succesfully. At that point, all I wondered was who was going to dare ask him anything. Everyone knew how temperamental he was. Once an engineer shared an elevator ride with him. Steve asked him what he did for Apple. The engineer uttered something that was unclear to Steve and didn’t make it to the ground floor as an Apple employee. A few years ago, an intern took a picture of Steve during the E-Lecture series and was immediately fired. As a normal citizen you saw Steve as a genius that was able to not only imagine great products, but also bring them to life. When you got to Apple you learnt how all of this happened. The room was petrified.
There was silence for an uncomfortably long time, until a brave girl, she looked like the MBA type, raised her hand. Steve caught sight of her and just nodded. There was a huge amount of tension in the room as this brave soul asked: "Steve, what is your dream?". Steve, still sitting on the stool, looked down, and remained silent for a few seconds. So did the rest of the room, bracing for impact. He then lifted his head back up and said decidedly: "My dream... is for people to stop asking me that question". Ouch. We all felt like we had been shot down. Perhaps it was the initial sacrifice that had to be made for people to realize that he wasn’t there to answer that type of fluffy questions. I think it was just Steve taking no bullshit. Like had been made clear throughout my summer at Apple. It took a few minutes for anyone to brave asking another question. Eventually a few more hands were raised, and people started relaxing. They were mostly questions about the beginings of Apple or how it functioned, not much room for Steve to snap back. There were a number of questions in my mind to ask him, but I kept on discarding them as not being good enough. I would raise my hand, not knowing what I would ask him if I had to, and lowering it in relief every time he picked someone else. I was truly nervous.
Eventually he said: "One last question", and here came the lucky one. It just poped up from the dark of the room: "What advice would you give to people our age in general, perhaps who want to start a company?". He did the same thing as with the first question. Remained silent and thinking, perched on his stool like a bird of prey. It was petrifying. The silence was again overwhelming. He could likely say, "you know what, if you’re here right now, you probably don’t have what it takes to build a company", or "come back and work for Apple, and you can see the future before it happens". But after a few moments of pause, he looked back up and said. "You know what, forget about the unimportant things in life. Focus on what matters. Don't worry about money, glory and fame, those are bi-products of doing great things you believe in. Work on something that you will want to do for the rest of your life. Sometimes you’ll have to piss people off, but if your heart tells you to, that is the most important thing. Focus on appreciating the beauty in life, listen to music, read poetry, appreciate art. Do new things that may scare you, try LSD…." There was a final silence. Partly because we were all a little shocked by what had just happened. Partly because it was time to leave and as that question sank in people’s minds we were holding on to Steve’s words. It was all starting to settle in my mind as I tried to make sense of such a complex person. His answer was not what I was expecting, but it did make sense coming from someone who knew he was “living on rented time on this earth”. The more I think about it, the more I realize how profound it was, coming from him. He loved all those things he mentioned. We would not experience music how we do today if it weren't for him.That Lecture left me thinking. In a few minutes I had seen all the things my co-workers had said about Steve, concentrated in an almost unbearable way. His power and presence, his brutal honesty that almost seemed to spawn from the goal of a greater good, and his completely different spin on the world. He came out of left field all the time, every time. His presence was felt throughout Apple all the time I was there. People's loyalty to Steve and to making a good product was astounding. Engineers worked harder than I've ever seen. It truly resembled a startup environment, for the good and for the bad. I can think of few people that have influenced our life in ways similar to how Steve and Apple have. I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for them. Because they make the MacBook Air I have come to love, the computer Steve edited down to the exact product most people need these days. Because him and Apple created the iPhone and the most successful AppStore, that has allowed developers and startups to thrive and create amazing mobile products, and which has allowed me to run Bakodo.
I am saddened by the loss of such a genius mind, one that has been able to touch so many lives, inspire so many people to truly question the status-quo and make something better. I pray for his soul and for his family. From a selfish perspective I am saddened because I know that Apple will never be the same again. What would have come out of Apple if he were still there for another 20 years, only he knows. The pressure of knowing if SJ will approve of what you are doing or totally rip it to pieces will no longer be there. My hope is that he has been able to infuse his way of thinking about great products and weaved it into the fabric that makes Apple, getting brilliant people like Scott Forstall to lead the iOS org of amazing engineers. I know that great products like the iPhone or iPad came out of the hard work of thousands of people, but will they be able continue his legacy and challenge the barriers to making amazing new products? I sure hope so, and I have to agree with Freddy, that perhaps that is the biggest legacy Steve has left to all of us. It is not the beautiful iPhone or iPad, which have already changed so many people’s lives, but his ability of being the ultimate user, the ultimate editor, of saying “NO” when something is not good enough, when it can be better, like he did when he called out any design flaw in the iPhone down to the pixel level. The ability to go beyond what exists and is believed to be possible, and especially his ability to think you can change the world, and being crazy enough to do it.
Although I went to Apple unsure of my decission, I think that was one of the periods that have influenced my life more deeply, and which have led me to approach problems and decisions in a different way. I probably would not have decided to start Bakodo if it weren’t for my time there. It was that quote that I once saw in a wall that kept me hungry and foolish, although not with Apple, I wanted to “See the future before it happens”. I think togther with Randy Pausch, Steve has been one of the characters in my life that has had a lasting, tangible influence in the way I live my life. Namaste Steve. Thanks for everything. It was an honor working for you.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite Apple commercial of all times. I knew of the official version for a long time, but only discovered this one recently.
Steve's Stanford Lecture is also well-worth watching:
